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Thank God for your wine stash.

The Best Degrees for the Zombie Apocalypse

Life is hard. You plant a small garden and start to barter squash and potatoes with neighboring communities of non-zombified humans. Nobody knows about the wine. Sharing would be too risky. By now, acid levels in cooler-climate whites have begun to soften and integrate, though Riesling can mature favorably for many more years. Higher-quality reds have started to develop tertiary notes and rounder tannins, perfect to pair with your venison-heavy diet. On bicycle reconnaissance rides, long stretches pass without any sightings of the living dead.

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A seed of hope embeds. The best New World Cabs start to sing after a decade, though they can easily go longer.


Well-made Pinots have shed primary fruit for lovely layers of savory underbrush. Vintage Champagne tends to age better than nonvintage because the grapes tend to come from a good harvest and the best vineyards. Time to pop a bottle and toast to optimism, perhaps? The initial horror of the zombie outbreak starts to become a fading memory. A new society begins to form.

You ally with neighbors and open your cellar to a select few who cry at the sight of maturing wines. With firm acidity as their backbone, reds from the greatest vineyards ascend toward the sublime. Integrated, resolved tannins swaddle red and black fruits, often still vibrant, along with tertiary notes of tobacco leaf, mushroom, truffle and leather.

You accept the role of community wine grower and plant the first vines.

The humidity and rain contribute high disease pressure and only cold hardy vines will make it through the harsh winters. Vintage Port and aged Sauternes represent the height of liquid aesthetics. The zombies are a forgotten memory.

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The sun still rises and sets. Wines from your vineyards trade avidly between villages, and your light-bodied reds and fresh whites fuel evening gatherings around the local improv group. Practically indestructible, this fortified wine serves as an emblem of your tenacity.

List of zombie films

Once produced on the Portuguese island of the same name, Madeira possesses its trademark toffee, caramel, and nutty notes from heat-treated aging. Create, store and share important documents that your loved ones might need.

If you sit back and think about it logically, the odds of a virus, a gypsy curse, or a passing comet causing a zombie apocalypse is pretty minimal. Walking Dead fans know what we're talking about. So hurry up and get shopping. No need to get fancy.

Undead or Alive: A Zombedy () - IMDb

Cool Zippo tricks are so pre-apocalypse. Originally, it was intended to keep pesky, grave-robbing medical students out, but also seems like the perfect way to keep restless corpses in. Get those family plots locked up ASAP!

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Funeral Director Caleb Wilde suggests tying together the shoelaces of every deceased person. Being caught with your proverbial pants down during a cannibal corpse onslaught is really your own fault these days, as many people are running small cottage industries around preparing for the end of the world.

The pack weighs less than 30 pounds, and has everything from tents and matches to portable stoves and water purification tablets to nylon rope and savory beef stroganoff. Mmmmm, delicious survival. Think about it -- have you ever seen a warrior of the wasteland worth his or her salt without one?